August 1, 2013

The plan was to spend the late morning at the park with friends like we usually do on Thursdays.

That's not how it worked out, as most of you know from my FB status.

It wasn't anything really huge - just weeks of spinning around the same issues: ignoring us when we tell him to do something, screaming/yelling (enormous no-no in our house), and slamming doors.  Again, nothing huge.  But dealing with it over and over and over and overandoverandoverandover again reaches its end at some point.  As always, he got time out.  Multiple times. And time out at our house means sitting in the corner and looking at the corner and if I see the whites of your eyes the clock starts over again.  It's the most effective 'punishment' for Levi; he hates the 'solitude.'  It drives him crazy to not be talked to.  After multiple time outs he was told that one more deliberate act of disobedience would mean no trip to the park (and oh, I DID NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!!  I LOOK FORWARD ALL WEEK TO OUR TRIP TO THE PARK!), he did it again - and you can see that look in his eye that says he was just testing to see if I would really follow through. I wanted to cry.  He lost the park, he lost video time (another punishment to me, I use that half hour to accomplish more than I used to in an entire day), but I resolved that by making him sit on his bed by himself with books.  I called Matt to have him reinforce what I had been telling him all morning.

Levi is not a tantrum thrower (he threw ONE last week, but other than that he really doesn't). He doesn't melt down when he doesn't get his own way, and if he does it never lasts long.  He's very tenderhearted.  I don't deal with the dramatic, exhausting, tantrum-riddled days that many moms do (with him, that is...Luke may be entirely different! Who knows!)...but his heart is still the heart of a human, and I can't overlook his more subtle behaviors either.  I sat with him and asked him what was going on.  He said he didn't know. I asked why he was doing things he knows aren't allowed. He said he didn't know.  And that's the truth, isn't it?  Why do I do the things *I* do?  That cause consequences in my life, my relationships, my health, whatever.  You and I and toddlers...we're really all pretty similar. Paul nailed it when he said he does what he doesn't want to do, and he doesn't do what he does want to do - what wretched sinners we all are, but for the grace of Jesus!  I let Levi in on the fact that mama and papa do the same thing - we do things we know we're not supposed to do, and we really don't know why, and that is called sin: it's what ultimately separates us from God, and that's why Jesus came to take all of that upon himself.  And that's why we ALL need Jesus - he comes into our heart and helps us WANT to obey, not so we escape punishment or get the things we want, but because we're thankful for everything He's done for us.

Another difficult morning, another seed sown.  It really is the best I can do.

So then we moved on and read books - the one thing that really centers both of us, I think.  We read Scrambled Eggs Super by Dr. Seuss, and then I made Scrambled Eggs Super for lunch (eggs, ham, cheese, and hash browns - and plenty of ketchup). :)

  Luke had blueberries, eggs, avocado, and cheese and he gobbled it up.

Both boys are blessedly asleep now.  I think I'll be instituting naps at least until they are ten.