November 21, 2013

Well I confessed/commiserated with a number of friends/moms a couple of weeks ago that I feel like I have a major anger problem.  I know I'm in good company when I say that never did I realize that I could reach boiling point so quickly until a three-year-old showed up in the house.  Thankfully, the past couple of weeks have been better, primarily because I know that there are a few people praying for me.  I hefted out a parenting book I had read when Levi was much littler, before the rubber hit the road, but I THOUGHT the rubber had hit the road, ya know?  It was a good reminder about the value of teaching them to obey the first time, something I sort of have struggled with because in my mind it sounds so....dictatorial?  Or something like that?  In addition to the fact that it's not how the Lord treats me, handing out a consequence if I don't follow His lead immediately (though, now that I think of it, there ARE inherent consequences to not just following Him as soon as we sense His leading).  Anyway, it was a struggle.  I'm learning, though, that it's in everyone's best interest.  I boil over with frustration after I've nagged Levi to do something - Buddy, I keep TELLING you...STOP it...I SAID to...IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME....(thankfully, I refuse to count. I WILL NOT do the "Okay, I'm counting to THREE....OOOONNNNEEE.....TWWWOOOOOO..." thing).  So I told him the new plan is when I instruct him to do something, and he doesn't follow through the first time, he will get a consequence (time out speaks to him...losing privileges or beloved items like his construction jacket does too).  I remain calm, I'm not frustrated, and he's caught on right away to the fact that when I tell him to do something, I mean right now.  He knows that he doesn't have at least two or three more clenched-teeth 'reminders' before he really needs to spring into action (granted, he still tries to see if that'll work a few times a day, especially if he has an audience). So all that to say - I know there are other moms with preschoolers who are nearly bald from pulling out their hair and feeling rotten for getting so angry...if you haven't tried some technique to teach your kids first-time obedience, maybe it'll help a little bit???  I've also tried to be transparent with Levi that I struggle with anger and self-control and that's evidence of sin in my own heart that points to my own need for a Savior....and he has my permission to keep me accountable to that - so if I start to yell or show a lot of anger, he can say, "Mama, please stop yelling." I just don't want to be a yeller.  There are moments when it's necessary to get their attention, but not as a habit.  I want peace in our home, and it sure is hard to teach your kid self-control when you are hardly demonstrating it yourself. :/

I'm learning that it's helpful to teach them WHY they need to obey too.  I remind Levi frequently that I have things to obey as well - first and foremost being God Himself, but also laws and rules and stop signs and traffic lights and policemen - and it's my job to teach him to obey so that he will know how to obey laws and teachers and policemen and, of course, God.  So I'll ask him, "Why does mama teach you to obey?" and he mumbles, "So I obey Jesus and teachers and police."  And then I'm inwardly rolling. LOL

Anyway, on another subject, it is so much fun to approach the holidays with a preschool-aged kid.  Just about every day he asks if tomorrow is Christmas - and mainly because we told him that at Christmas time he can stay up late one night and watch The Polar Express, and he's so excited about that.  We've been learning about Thanksgiving this week and checked out some great books from the library about the Pilgrims and turkeys and thankfulness.

This morning while the boys ate breakfast I made a hand turkey and told Levi that Grandma Mark used to make hand turkeys with me.  Secretly I just take any opportunity to color because it's so relaxing! hahahaha  He wanted to make a turkey as well and decorate it with glitter.  Well that was messy.

We had a turkey hunt one morning - I hid these turkeys around the house and then he had to match them up with the numbers on the cookie sheet.

He's had fun with the rest of his projects - making a Mayflower out of shapes, color-by-number (which pretty much means color-whatever-he-wants), categorizing food and people, and arranging the Mayflowers according to their size.  On our Meijer trip this week I gave him his own "grocery list" and he had to mark off the items with a dry-erase marker as he saw them. He LOVED that and felt very important with his own list.

In other news, did you know that a Pack n Play turned on its side makes a fantastic fort?  The boys had a riot going in and out of their fort, and using their tools to "build" it.  

(I know, Luke's shirt is FULL of drool.  I don't even own bibs though because he won't keep them on.)

We were outside the other day and Levi wanted a shovel.  I gave him one and went into the back yard to do something (we were talking to each other through the fence), and when I came back out of the yard, he had cleaned up nearly half the driveway and piled the leaves together!!! It was awesome!  He's such a project-doer that cleaning up the yard this year has been way easier with his help. :)

Baby Bear loves to help too.  Mostly he likes to ride on the tarp full of leaves when I drag it to the curb.

I pulled this little table up from the basement to see if it would fit in the play area. It was my table when I was little.  Levi wanted 'his' (old, not super-functioning) laptop on it (Luke loves to play with the little Fisher Price one).  Cracks me UP because I sat at this very table when I was about this size, "typing" on one of my dad's old Commodore 64's.

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