August 28, 2013

Well, thankfully today was a new day.  Crummy naps prevailed yesterday, and I am still forever grateful for the blessed Ergo.  Strapped that baby on and kept making dinner.  You can tell we are both tired.  Luke just tilted his head back and watched me, this little expressionless bullfrog face inches from my chin staring up at me as I cut veggies.  It was partly cute and partly disconcerting.

I WISH this picture had turned out better, but blast it, my camera makes any source of light look like a white explosion.  Josiah was here yesterday morning...and...well...the following picture says it all:

Right before Mary came back the boys were helping me pick up the toys (and they were actually doing a very good job of it), when the appeal of having too much fun was more than they could bear.  They hopped into Levi's bed to "take a nap" and they were laughing SO HARD with each other I just let them be and finished cleaning up the living room.  I was just happy that they were, of their own volition, semi confined and occupied. :)

The other day Levi wanted me to swaddle him "like a bee-bee" as he would say.  I'm NOT into his acting-like-a-baby getup, but sometimes I do tease him exaggeratedly, like cradle him and sing Rock-a-Bye-Baby, and when the cradle "drops" I throw him on the bed, and he erupts in hysterical laughter.  So I swaddled him and then we cracked up about it.  As I'm taking the picture he's saying, "Look at me! I'm in my sleep sack!"

We DID end up calling his bluff the other night and served him baby food for dinner. At first he thought it was funny and cute and was all for it...and then three bites in (which Matt fed him, yes, like a baby) he started to cry and didn't want to be a baby anymore.  Heh.

This morning was much better.  Scrambled Egg Super for breakfast...

Read books to George to apologize to him for throwing him in the corner...

...and work on fun block cars again.

Blessed Nana came and watched the boys while I went to the health food store, the library, the farmer's market, and downtown.  Nap time returned today, thankfully, and both boys took nice long ones for the first time this week.  Luke is cutting a couple teeth and is on the verge of walking and is babbling more (babbling has taken a back seat to movement most of his life), so I think he's flirting with a 12-month sleep regression.  And still getting over a cold.  Several drops of lavender oil in a vaporizer seemed to do the trick for him and made the house smell wonderful. :)  Peace reigned again for an afternoon.

August 27, 2013

I am writing this post to erase any notion that I keep this blog so that I can show off my incredible, organized life with happy babies who sleep great, never misbehave, and cause unseen violins to strike a melodious soundtrack to my divine life.  This is my memory book, and along with happy memories of sticky hands come desperate memories of days that are so trying, so frustrating that words can barely be used to describe them.

I don't want to describe specific instances or behaviors because I really don't want to use this as a forum to complain about or disgrace my children with anecdotes that might eventually seem amusing, but are really ungracious.  But I can speak about myself unabashedly.

I have been verbally berated by patients and their families. I have been treated equally astonishingly by some physicians and other providers (and sadly, fellow nurses).  I have sat with families, completely uncertain where to fix my gaze or what to do with my hands, as they receive devastating news about their child that will alter their lives and possibly their view of God forever.

But nothing has blown my spirit apart like my children, and even more specifically, how their behavior devastates my pride and exposes my heart for exactly what it is.  Anger that I didn't know I was capable of having, a tone of voice that I didn't realize I was capable of speaking, fruit growing out of my heart that is uglier than the weird mutant cucumbers I managed to grow this summer.  I curled in a ball on my couch this morning, begging the Lord to uproot it and help me demonstrate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  How on earth can I expect to instill these in my sons when I am barely capable of reflecting them myself?

I know this is only a season.  But another season will come, and harsh winds blow in warm weather and in cold, and clearly, if I faint in the day of adversity, my strength is small.  My strength has to come from the Lord, and quite honestly, I don't even know what that is supposed to look like half the time.

So.......there you have it. I have no ammo to add to the mommy war because the war for my soul is enough for me to endure.  Pictures of sweet boys on tricycles and babies in mud and coloring pictures and playing with blocks are only part of the story, and I never want to hold up a picture of my life that is anything less than honest. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning - or after every nap!! - and like I keep telling Levi, tomorrow is a new day.

August 23, 2013

Nothing terribly exciting to report!!!  Luke took his first keester-over-elbows tumble down the (very steep and most certainly not up to code) steps yesterday morning.  I heard the thumping, Matt bellowing, "BABY DOWN!" followed by Luke sprawled face-down at the bottom of the steps. :(  He sobbed, and then wriggled down and crawled on top of the time-out chair, which is almost equally perilous.

I took Levi for a haircut yesterday and he nearly had the lady in stitches with his little quips.  I was talking with our neighbor today, who has a little almost 2-year-old girl, and Levi's all, "So does she cry a lot? Do you guys get good sleep?"  Clearly he can tell what kinds of questions we ask each other when we talk with other parents!!! LOL  Then he interjected, "Did you know that Meijer has GREAT toys?"

I came out of the bathroom yesterday to hear Luke grunting like he was reaching for something. I found him perched, stuck, on the edge of the laundry basket.  I made him wait there while I snapped a few pictures, and I don't think this pleased him very much.

A rare moment of the boys actually playing together without drama (from the big brother end, that is).  Levi's fire chief jacket is dazzling, isn't it?

We wrapped up our "I" week by eating Italian (lasagna), pulling out my flute to learn about instruments, and reading a ton of books.  This morning we pulled out Levi's 'special cars' (part of his collection of toys that he can only play with during school time or whatever you want to call it)..they're called Automoblox and are these great wooden cars that pull apart into several pieces and are interchangable.  So we deconstructed the cars and I had him pretend he was a mechanic putting them back together, and then we test-raced them. :)  

 

We are very weary of the regression behavior that Levi exhibits when Luke is around.  It's very maddening and frustrating. I know he's doing it for attention (oddly, he gets way more attention than Luke does simply because Luke sleeps more), but it's still irritating.  When he crawls, I make him get up and return to where he started and walk the whole way.  I refuse to acknowledge his whining.  All that.  This morning I started calling his bluff and asked if he really wants me to treat him like a baby.  Because hey man, I can pull out all the stops and treat you like a baby.  And I would.  I can feed him puree and carry him wherever we go outside instead of letting him ride his trike, and put him down for a nap in the morning, and give him a bottle for a snack after nap time. I didn't tell him all that, but he still thought about it for a few beats when I asked if he really wants to be treated like a baby, and said, "Ummm...no."  I kind of would like the opportunity to do all that; he's a sharp kid - he'd get the point pretty quickly!!! Muahahaha.  But, I'm a nice mom too.  I tell him that I love Levi for Levi and I want him to act like Levi. I want Luke to act like Luke and Levi to act like Levi.*sigh* It's all a phase.

Work this weekend.  Boy time!! Pray for Matt. ;) He rocks it, but it's definitely not easy being Mr. Mom for 13 hours in a row.

August 20, 2013

This just in: Luke loves dirt and water.  He'll splash in any mud puddle, dog bowl, or rain-filled you-name-it.  Levi and I pulled the dying squash and zucchini plants on Friday and cleaned out the gardens, leaving only tomatoes and watermelons now.  It's quite a switch.  I watered the tomatoes in the late afternoon and Luke pretty much dove right under the shower to play in the mud, eat the mud, spread the mud around...it was quite a sight.

Levi LOVES working on his "farm" (he came up with that, not me!).  He hops right up into the tomato plants, darts in and out around the beans (in the back bed), and picks cherry tomatoes and stuffs them in his mouth.  I love letting him just play around in the dirt with his bare feet.  Dirt is healthy and potentially healing, in addition to the fact that I'm less concerned about my garden being perfect and more loving the fact that it's a great tool for teaching the boys about life.

Luke outgrew his infant car seat (well, he didn't really outgrow it, technically, but when I feel like I'm stuffing my baby in a bucket, it's time to move up), so Matt installed the other Britax this weekend.  Luke really seemed to love being able to sit up more and see out the window.

We're on the letter "I" this week, finally finished up the letters of Levi's name!!! 

We walked to the library yesterday and checked out books on insects and iguanas and fire trucks (which clearly don't start with "I" but walking out without a fire truck book is high treason).  Levi's verse this week is Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  He played with his bean bin and colored blocks, glued together his iguana "I", and played his new favorite game that he invented last week: "Garbage Truck."  To play garbage truck, he sits in a car seat base that is perched on a box, and I roar in (I think I'm actually the garbage truck) with a laundry basket, back up, lift the basket over my head the way the arms of the garbage truck lift the trash can, and dump a piece of "garbage" on him.  This is very academic, you see.  I'm crafty. I can play along with this.  Each piece of "garbage" has a required task.  If it's a shape, he has to tell me the shape.  Or color.  If it's a worksheet, he has to do a task with the worksheet: paint, cut, or color it.  He's not so eager to just up and color something, but if it's dumped on him like a piece of garbage, we're in business.

He really likes doing his foam craft letters.  Especially if it involves googly eyes!

Doing his "garbage truck" tasks.

He actually came up with this himself: plugging pipe cleaners into the holes of the pegboard-style wall in the basement.  I thought, huh, great fine motor activity!

I'm not usually one to post messy baby/food pictures, but Luke really does nail the messy meal.  This picture isn't actually that messy compared with how he usually is.  He refuses to wear a bib most of the time (he'll rip it off again and again and again) so I do end up changing his clothes sometimes three or four times a day.  I made calico beans last week and whoa baby, that was a HIT.  He's been chowing the leftovers ever since.

Partners in crime. Luke loves to climb.  Especially Levi's time-out chair. (It didn't start out as a time-out chair. It's a really cute chair that Aunt Lisa scored at an antique store before Levi was born.  It just serves the purpose well. So well, and so frequently, in fact, that it's permanently parked facing the corner of the living room.  Hm.)

Annnnnd.....Levi can pedal his tricycle now!!!  It just clicked yesterday!!!  He said, "Look! I'm riding my bike like Grampa Mark!!"  Yes, he has a helmet, and today I convinced him to wear it by telling him that Grandpa Mark never goes without a helmet.  It also helps that it's a Lightning McQueen helmet.

August 15, 2013

Holy moly, has it already been about a week?  Last weekend we were doing a happy dance: I wasn't on call, I wasn't working, Matt wasn't working...that's like two times that that has happened in the last month or so!!  We enjoyed our day by sleeping in (well, Matt did at least), going to the library, making an early dinner, and heading to the beach for a little bit.  We haven't been to the beach yet this summer, as I am not terribly endeared to the thought of packing everything up and carrying one, potentially both, kids (if the sand is really hot) and all of the *stuff* just to stay for maybe an hour between nap times.  Next year we'll have a little more flexibility to spend maybe a morning at the beach, but now is not that time.  Levi was actually less interested in playing in the sand and more interested in standing by the channel watching the boats.

Catching some guy time together after naps

Trucks at the beach

A very typical Luke look: scrunchy nose

I only put this on because you can see the escapee in the background.  That's just his M.O.

...and then we went to Captain Sundae!!! Whoop, whoop.  Levi's VERY into boats right now, so this scored some major points.

We stayed on the letter V this week because I didn't do a whole lot with him last week.  We played with trucks in a sensory bin filled with beans and the letter V; colored, cut and glued a few things; learned about violins and listened to Vivaldi; and learned about veterinarians.  Levi memorized Psalm 104:1 (Lord my God, you are VERY great.)  His favorite activity was when I set up bug hunts for him - he has a bucket filled with different colored plastic bugs, and I'd hide them all over the basement, and when he found them he had to call out their color.  When he had found them all he dumped them out and counted them.

He doesn't recognize his letters whatsoever but it's still fun to teach them and use them as a springboard to learn about other things and check out books on subjects I wouldn't normally think about (he and Luke LOVED listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons).  He is starting to ask "What letter does ____ start with?" or "How do you spell _____?" and he will point out letters on objects, and is starting to line up his letter magnets like they are words.  It's intriguing to see the wheels start to turn when they are ready to turn.  I think that's my favorite part about doing this "schooling" thing so far.  And being more aware of what makes him tick.

Luke James turned 11 months on Monday!!!  WHATTHEHECK.  He is quick on Levi's heels trying to be a big boy like his brother.  Levi at this age was VERY into his little walker thingy to get around.  Luke will play with it, but would far rather push around anything that's not bolted to the ground...even if someone (like Levi) is sitting in it.  He pushes chairs, baskets, laundry baskets, you name it.  He's figured out how to push them up against furniture so he can climb, so I will find him scaling the couch - and the top of the couch at that.  He doesn't talk much, he's far more interested in moving.  He will babble and makes some sounds that are sort of distinct pre-words, but not much yet.  He treats Matt like he's a movie star. He's VERY affectionate and snuggly. He loves to eat almost as much as Levi does and pretty much entirely eats regular food now.  His faves are pretty much any fruit, peanut butter (*gasp* yes I feed him peanut butter before he's a year old!!), cheese, oatmeal, and yogurt.  He loves to play with balls, splash any form of water (including Molly's water dish), and ride on Levi's little four-wheeler!

Auntie Lisa was here this week. :)  Levi loved seeing her.  We went to Zeelmania in Zeeland the other night because they had a tractor display.  The lady who owned a few tractors told Levi he could sit on them.

...and then the crud visited. :(  I knew something was up when Levi didn't want to eat his lunch on Tuesday.  Something in the universe has shifted if that kid sits there with food in front of him.  Sure enough, he took a three hour nap and woke up with a temp close to 103.

Maybe it was a ruse to get extra video time.

It was a long night. I tried to let it go as long as possible without treating it.  I'd rather the immune system walk on its own instead of giving it a crutch, and fevers help it do its work.  By 2:30am we hadn't slept much and the fever tremors were freaking the poor boy out (he was absolutely wild - clawing at me, shrieking, begging me to make it stop - that's not like him, he was just that scared by it), so I gave him a small dose of ibuprofen and that gave us some respite. It was a long night.  He's been on the mend and I had to take today off work because he was still iffy yesterday morning, and I didn't want to send him to Aunt Mary until he'd been fever-free for at least 24hrs.  It was his first real fever in nearly three years of life, so I can't really complain!

I have to admit I enjoyed a little extra playtime with Luke while Levi slept in. :)

This morning Levi put on Matt's hat, and Luke went crazy (I told you he thinks Matt's a movie star). I put on his little matching hat, wish I could have taken a better picture with the two of them looking at me!  Then Luke tackled Levi, as if he was Matt. Pretty funny.

On the reality end of things, Levi's whining is mildly out of control lately (and maybe he just doesn't feel like himself yet, that could factor into it).  Why is every kid's default switch set to whining???  Today I've just completely, utterly, absolutely ignored him when he whines.  It seems to work. He then stops, pauses for a few seconds, and then starts talking in his normal voice.  It takes a great degree of self-control on my part because I really want to lose my cool.  I have no nerves left when whining takes place.  We're also trying to work on the whole selfishness/sharing issue.  If Luke even sort of looks in Levi's direction, Levi has a cow and starts gathering up ALL of his toys in his arms and whines (!!!!!) about how Luke is going to destroy (yes, "destroy") them.  I then send him to his room to sit by himself while Luke plays with his toys in the living room, which is not a popular outcome for Levi.  Then the cycle of whining starts all over again.  Luke, on the other hand, is more of a shrieker. He shrieks when he's happy, he shrieks when he's upset, he just defaults to loud.  And it takes a great deal of self-control to not find myself yelling.  So...it gets a little loud here!!  Oh well!!!

August 8, 2013

There's a tree next to our yard that has produced a bumper crop of berries this year.  No idea what kind of tree it is, but it drops berries by the thousands (or so it seems) that look exactly like blackberries.  It's never been on my radar, but the conditions this year are such that it has been a very, shall we say, *FRUITFUL* tree this summer.  Unfortunately, my desire for shade over the sand box has directly conflicted with this tree's desire to barf berries all summer long.  It's been the death of me.  There's a tarp over the sand box (that I have regularly cleaned), but all summer it has literally - literally - been filled with berries, rain water, fruit flies, and who knows what else.  At its worst, the berries sit in piles, molding, attracting flies, rotting, and smelling awful.  No amount of raking or anything can take care of them.  Matt finally cut the limbs down that he could reach that hung over our yard, which helped some.  But still, the berries and rain water have created a veritable pond on the tarp that has been a nuisance to clean regularly, and no one wants to play in our beautiful sand box. :(  The sand underneath has been clean and dry, thankfully, but the process of getting to it is quite absurd.

Last week, Matt came up with an idea - which sounded silly at first, but it's brilliant.  We place a lawn chair in the middle of the sand box, bought a larger tarp, and drape it over the chair and the whole box, so it tents up in the middle.  It's anchored on all corners with cinder blocks.  Berries and rain roll right off!!!  It's a very ghetto setup to look at, but it's the only thing that's worked. Just this week, Levi has been wanting to play in the sand box again, and he loves it!!!!  Yesterday, he was pretending the sand box was his boat.  He was Captain Levi, and I cracked up when he told me his boat's name was the Berry Connection.

Levi playing on the Berry Connection.  Luke LOVES when I fill the wagon with a little water for him to splash. :)

Hey Dad - here's the tree house that Levi saw in his I Spy book.  He said, "Grandpa Mark is going to build that for me next."  So there you go!!! hahahahaha

It's inevitable that our life will soon be filled with chortles and snorts about butts, poop, and farts. There, I said it.  I don't like to say those things around the boys, because they will come up with them on their own sooner rather than later.  I really don't like writing about said things on a public forum because it's not the most...tasteful..enterprise, but it IS my memory book.  We rarely, if ever, say the word butt around Levi.  We say bottom or keester or buns.  Yesterday I accidentally slipped and said it.  It was unlike anything I've ever seen.  His eyes - I am not joking - lit up with an awareness, like he's genetically programmed to KNOW that that word is inherently funny to a little boy and holds a host of potential for the next...several...decades.  And he just started rattling out question after question and proclamation after proclamation about the word butt.  "That word, butt, is funny.  Mama, what is the Spanish word for butt?  We need to tell Eli what is a butt."  And on. And on. And on.  And it was just genuine, holy-cow-I-just-discovered-the-moon excitement, like I flipped a switch in his little boy mind simply by uttering.....butt.  He was on the changing table, and I was trying to change him (nope, not even close to being potty trained), and I was laughing SO hard I was crying, because this transformation, this awareness, was so vibrant, I could nearly hear the jackpot sirens splitting the atmosphere.

*Ahem.*

Anyway, we went to the park today.  The boys had fun.  Luke commandeered the Haisch's stroller and tried to take off on his own.  He does that.  We'll be in the front yard and he just takes off crawling or pushing something down the sidewalk.

Bye, Luke!!

(Bear in mind that objects in the camera ARE closer than they appear)